We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
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Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
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I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize