He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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