You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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