Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
love makes seman taste better
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
