In the future we'll all be gay
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
