i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
