we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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