Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
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