i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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