I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
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