not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
