Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
