i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
