My sheets look like a crime scene.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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