Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
So squirting runs in the family.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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