dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
