Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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