last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I need a beard to bite.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
