i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
