It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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