i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
