id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
