It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
