I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
it's great music for shaving your balls
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
