i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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