life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
