She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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