Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
