:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
