If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
