when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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