Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
