i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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