you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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