New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You took a bar mat shot.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize