sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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