So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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