Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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