Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Randomize
