Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
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watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
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One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
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I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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