I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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