i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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