ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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