Me. At least after what I've been through.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
