All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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