community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
