Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
