Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
