You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Randomize
