what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
