Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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