my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
