Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
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No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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