I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
