Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
