Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
