I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
