WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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