Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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