just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
