I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
