I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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