so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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